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Today Funny Love Quotes for Him ideas
Expressing love is a personal and heartfelt endeavor that can vary depending on the relationship and the individuals involved. Here are some ways you can express love for him:
“A heart can be broken; but it keeps beating just the same.” @Fried Green Tomatoes
“I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.” @Steven Wright
“I dare not kiss so lovely a lady. I have but one heart to lose.” @First Knight
“A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.” @Charles Gordy
“You will never know love unless you surrender to it.” @Fools Rush In
“She makes the bass drop in my heart.” @The Good Place
“My husband and I fell in love at first sight… maybe I should have taken a second look.” @Crimes and Misdemeanors
“In my house, I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.” @Woody Allen
“When you love somebody, you go deaf, dumb, and blind.” @The Way We Were
“The more she turned right the more I turned wrong.” @Mark W. Boyer
“I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is.” @Forrest Gump
“We’re like Romeo & Juliet. Except for the dying part of course.” @Justina
“Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable…” @Wizard of Oz
“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” @Jimmy Durante
“I love you more than I hate everything else.” @Rainbow Rowell
“Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.” @George Carlin
“I do know some things. For example, I know I love you. I know you love me.” @Game of Thrones
“Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.” @Tommy Dewar
“I love you more than I think I should.” @Becca Fitzpatrick
“You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” @Rhett Butler
“If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?” @Casper
“He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.” @Ring Lardner
“I’ve tried so many times to think of a new way to say it, and it’s still I love you.” @Zelda Fitzgerald
“It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” @John Green
“I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” @The Alchemist
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” @Rodney Dangerfield
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” @Elizabeth Evans
“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” @Cathy Carlyle
“I love you and I like you” @Parks & Recreation
“A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt.” @Rose Wilder Lane
Short Funny I Love You Quotes
“Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.” @Bree Luckey
“I had a dream that I still loved you…I think I woke up screaming.” @Christine
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” @Albert Einstein
“Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass.” @English Proverb
“It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.” @Lucille Ball
“A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.” @Woodrow Wyatt
“Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.” @Pauline Thomason
“Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.” @Bettina Arndt
“Between lovers, a little confession is a dangerous thing.” @Helen Rowland
“Love is being stupid together.” @Paul Valery
“People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” @Andy Warhol
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” @Mignon McLaughlin
“Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.” @Richard Pryor
“While I may be left-handed, I’ve yet to figure out that my spouse is always right!” @Matthew Alan House
“As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.” @Ralphie May
“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” @Ambrose Bierce
“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” @Audrey Hepburn
“Love is like a fart, if you force it it’s probably crap.” @Joe Wiley
“Life is the flower for which love is the honey.” @Victor Hugo
“True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” @Mindy Kaling
“Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.” @Marge Piercy
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” @Erma Bombeck
“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” @Sophocles
“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” @David Sedaris
“A life lived in love will never be dull.” @Leo Buscaglia
“Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.” @Jackie Mason
“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” @Confucius
“Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it.” @Phyllis Schlafly
“I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone.” @J.R.R. Tolkien
“I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies.” @Mindy Kaling
Deep Funny Love Quotes from Movies
“Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime.” @Bette Davis
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” @Kathy Mohnke
“To good and true love fear is forever affixed.” @Francois Rabelais
“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” @Agatha Christie
“I am catastrophically in love with you.” @Cassandra Clare
“My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor.” @Elayne Boosler
“Love is friendship on fire.” @Susan Sontag
“True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.” @Francois de la Rochefoucauld
“Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer.” @Jean de La Fontaine
“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” @Erich Segal
“True love stories never have endings.” @Richard Bach
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” @Joan Crawford
“Only true love can fuel the hard work that awaits you.” @Tom Freston
“My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.” @Ray Romano
“True love cannot be found where it does not exist, nor can it be denied where it does.” @Torquato Tasso
“Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.” @Professor Irwin Corey
“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.” @Joan Rivers
“My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.” @Rodney Dangerfield
“My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.” @Garry Shandling
“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” @Chris Rock
“Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.” @Thomas Dewar
“I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times.” @Elizabeth Taylor
“The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” @Blaise Pascal
“I went home with this French guy ’cause he said something adorable, like, ‘I have an apartment.’” @Amy Schumer
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” @Mae West
“The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.” @Milton Berle
“You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” @Henry Youngman
“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.” @Steve Martin
“Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.” @Fran Lebowitz
“I was like, ‘Am I gay? Am I straight?’ And I realized… I’m just slutty. Where’s my parade?” @Margaret Cho
Famous Funny Love Quotes for Her
“Never give up on anyone. And that includes not giving up on yourself.” @Dieter F. Uchtdorf
“You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you’re married to a couch that burps.” @Roseanne Barr
“Keep watering yourself. You’re growing.” @E.Russell
“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” @Lemony Snicket
“Gonna love myself. No, I don’t need anybody else.” @Hailee Steinfeld
“You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.” @Melanie Clark
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” @Diane von Furstenberg
“If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.” @Alan King
“You carry so much love in your heart. Give some to yourself.” @R.Z.
“Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” @George Burns
“Talk to yourself like someone you love.” @Brené Brown
“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” @Socrates
“You change the world by being yourself.” @Yoko Ono
“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” @Shirley MacLaine
“Love yourself unconditionally, just as you love those closest to you despite their faults.” @Les Brown
“I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.” @David Young
“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.” @Joan Rivers
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” @Albert Einstein
“Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.” @Elinor Glyn
“Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.” @Benjamin Franklin
“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” @Carroll Bryant
“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” @Lily Tomlin
“If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.” @Fran Lebowitz
“Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” @Megan Mullally
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” @Henry Youngman
“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” @Richard Lewis
“Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.” @Christopher Marlowe
“The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.” @Samuel Taylor Coleridge
“Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.” @Thomas Dewar
“I miss crawling into a man’s arm, kissing his neck, saying those three little words into his ear, ‘And another thing …’” @Felicia Michaels
New Funny Self Love Quotes
“Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” @H. L. Mencken
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” @Jean Illsley Clarke
“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.” @Ambrose Bierce
“Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality.” @Miranda
“Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important.” @Lisa Hoffman
“When a man of forty falls in love with a woman of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own.” @Lenore Coffee
“Love means having to say you’re sorry every fifteen minutes.” @John Lennon
“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” @Bill Maher
“Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you.” @Dolly Parton
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” @Rita Rudner
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” @Charles M. Schulz
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” @Albert Einstein
“What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” @Pearl Bailey
“A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.” @Brendan Francis
“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” @Phyllis Diller
“Women love a self-confident bald man.” @Larry David
“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.” @Sharon Stone
“I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.” @Steven Wright
“If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards.” @J.A. Redmerski
“I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.” @Chico Marx
“My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.” @Emo Philips
“A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.” @Zsa Zsa Gabor
“The bravest thing that men do is love women.” @Mort Sahl
“What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” @Cindy Garner
“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” @Tim Allen
“Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.” @Judith Viorst
“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” @Jules Renard
“I love you more than anything in the world combined.” @Stephanie Meyer
“I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.” @Russell Brand
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” @Groucho Marx
“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” @Richard Jeni
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” @Natasha Leggero
Remember, the most important thing is to be genuine and authentic in your expressions of love. Tailor your actions to his preferences and your unique relationship dynamics. Communication is key, so openly discuss your feelings and ask him about his preferences for how he’d like to feel loved and appreciated.
Thank you for reading all about funny love quotes for him. Hope you like it!
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