175 Famous Funny Quotes On Love for Him and Her

Make your better smile and giggle with some of the funny quotes on love. Today Sharing funny quotes on love can help turn up the heat and can be quite romantic. After all, there are few things sexier than a good sense of humor. A dating with laughter and smiles will last a great deal longer and be loads greater amusing.

Choose a few of these funny quotes on love about love and relationships and send one to your beloved. These humorous funny quotes on love will sweeten anyone’s day and help strengthen your connection and desire. Surprise your relationship/girlfriends and make them love you even more.

Best Funny Quotes On Love and Sayings with Pictures

❤️”Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”❣️❣️

@Will Ferrell

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love and marriage images

❤️”I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.”❣️❣️

@Russell Brand

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love and arranged marriage images

❤️”I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”❣️❣️

@Rita Rudner

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love and relationships images

❤️”If you text ‘I love you to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.”❣️❣️

@Chelsea Peretti

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love assamese images

❤️”Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.”❣️❣️

@Natasha Leggero

♨️
funny quotes on love
best funny quotes on love images

❤️”Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”❣️❣️

@Bill Maher

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love couples images

❤️”You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.”❣️❣️

@Hussein Nishah

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love in english images

❤️”Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”❣️❣️

@Oprah Winfrey

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love life images

❤️”I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”❣️❣️

@Rita Rudner

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love relationships images

❤️”When a man of forty falls in love with a woman of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own.”❣️❣️

@Lenore Coffee

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love failure images

❤️”Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”❣️❣️

@Franklin P. Jones

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love marriage images

❤️”As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.”❣️❣️

@Ralphie May

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love fight images

❤️”I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much for it?”❣️❣️

@Jean Illsley Clarke

♨️
funny quotes on love
minions funny quotes on love images

❤️”When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”❣️❣️

@Mark Twain

♨️
funny quotes on love
most funny quotes on love images

❤️”I miss crawling into a man’s arm, kissing his neck, saying those three little words into his ear, ‘And another thing …’”❣️❣️

@Felicia Michaels

♨️
funny quotes on love
sarcastic funny quotes on love images

❤️”A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.”❣️❣️

@Tim Allen

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love with images

❤️”My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”❣️❣️

@Garry Shandling

♨️
funny quotes on love
funny quotes on love wallpaper

❤️”Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.”❣️❣️

@Richard Jeni​​

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.”❣️❣️

@Samuel Taylor Coleridge

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”❣️❣️

@Richard Lewis

♨️

Funny Quotes for Couples

funny quotes on love

❤️”Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.”❣️❣️

@Megan Mullally

♨️
funny quotes on love
top funny quotes on love images

❤️”You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.”❣️❣️

@Henry Youngman

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach.”❣️❣️

@Barbara Hower

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”If you love them in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love them at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.”❣️❣️

@Miles Davis

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.”❣️❣️

@Fran Lebowitz

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.”❣️❣️

@Christopher Marlowe

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”❣️❣️

@Lily Tomlin

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.”❣️❣️

@Jerry Seinfeld

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.”❣️❣️

@Mae West

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.”❣️❣️

@Benjamin Franklin

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”❣️❣️

@Joan Rivers

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”My husband forgot my birthday and my anniversary. I didn’t feel bad. On the contrary. Give me a guilty husband any day. Some of my best outfits come from his guilt.”❣️❣️

@Betty Walker

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”❣️❣️

@Albert Einstein

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.”❣️❣️

@Ambrose Bierce

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.”❣️❣️

@David Young

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.”❣️❣️

@Helen Rowland

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”❣️❣️

@Shirley MacLaine

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”❣️❣️

@Socrates

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.”❣️❣️

@Emo Philips

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”❣️❣️

@Chelsea Handler

♨️

Cute Funny Love Quotes

funny quotes on love

❤️”Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.”❣️❣️

@George Burns

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”❣️❣️

@Groucho Marx

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.”❣️❣️

@Blaise Pascal

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.”❣️❣️

@Alan King

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.”❣️❣️

@Melanie Clark

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”❣️❣️

@Dr. Seuss

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.”❣️❣️

@Cindy Garner

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.”❣️❣️

@Fulton J. Sheen

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️“I was like, ‘Am I gay? Am I straight?’ And I realized… I’m just slutty. Where’s my parade?”❣️❣️

@Margaret Cho

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.”❣️❣️

@Fran Lebowitz

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.”❣️❣️

@Richard Pryor

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date-date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.”❣️❣️

@Dave Attell

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”The bravest thing that men do is love women.”❣️❣️

@Mort Sahl

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”❣️❣️

@Steve Martin

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”❣️❣️

@Jules Renard

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.”❣️❣️

@Milton Berle

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”I went home with this French guy ’cause he said something adorable, like, ‘I have an apartment.’”❣️❣️

@Amy Schumer

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”At a touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.”❣️❣️

@Plato

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”❣️❣️

@Chris Rock

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.”❣️❣️

@Rodney Dangerfield

♨️

Very Short Funny Quotes about Life

funny quotes on love

❤️”I can’t make you love me, but I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75.”❣️❣️

@Rob Delaney

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.”❣️❣️

@Professor Irwin Corey

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.”❣️❣️

@Ray Romano

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.”❣️❣️

@Carroll Bryant

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”❣️❣️

@Joan Crawford

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”❣️❣️

@Erich Segal

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.”❣️❣️

@Cindy Garner

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”People should fall in love with their eyes closed.”❣️❣️

@Andy Warhol

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.”❣️❣️

@Francois de la Rochefoucauld

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor.”❣️❣️

@Elayne Boosler

♨️
funny quotes on love

❤️”A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.”❣️❣️

@Zsa Zsa Gabor

♨️

❤️”Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy’s arm behind his back. Now, who’s asking the questions?”❣️❣️

@Jack Handy

♨️

❤️”An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”❣️❣️

@Agatha Christie

♨️

❤️”Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.”❣️❣️

@Pauline Thomason

♨️

❤️”It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.”❣️❣️

@Lucille Ball

♨️

❤️”Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.”❣️❣️

@Kathy Mohnke

♨️

❤️”All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”❣️❣️

@Charles M. Schulz

♨️

❤️”Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.”❣️❣️

@Thomas Dewar

♨️

❤️“I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies.”❣️❣️

@Mindy Kaling

♨️

❤️”Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.”❣️❣️

@David Sedaris​

♨️

Funny Quotes About Life and Love

❤️”I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.”❣️❣️

@Steven Wright

♨️

❤️”Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it.”❣️❣️

@Phyllis Schlafly

♨️

❤️”Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”❣️❣️

@Albert Einstein

♨️

❤️”Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.”❣️❣️

@Judith Viorst

♨️

❤️”My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”❣️❣️

@Joan Rivers

♨️

❤️”Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.”❣️❣️

@Jean Kerr

♨️

❤️”I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.”❣️❣️

@Chico Marx

♨️

❤️”He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.”❣️❣️

@Ring Lardner

♨️

❤️”Women love a self-confident bald man.”❣️❣️

@Larry David

♨️

❤️”If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterward.”❣️❣️

@J.A. Redmerski

♨️

❤️”Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”❣️❣️

@Phyllis Diller

♨️

❤️”Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.”❣️❣️

@Jackie Mason

♨️

❤️”Love is sharing your popcorn.”❣️❣️

@Charles Schultz

♨️

❤️”Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.”❣️❣️

@David Sedaris

♨️

❤️”Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”❣️❣️

@Erma Bombeck

♨️

❤️”My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan.”❣️❣️

@Leopold Fetchner

♨️

❤️“It’s the 21st century. I don’t need an alpha male to protect me. I don’t need a big, strong man to fight off a tiger. I need a geek who can get my naked photos off the cloud.”❣️❣️

@Whitney Cummings

♨️

❤️”Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.”❣️❣️

@Bree Luckey

♨️

❤️“You…you got rid of that dress fast,” I pointed out between heavy breaths. “I thought you liked it.” “I do like it,” he said. His breathing was as heavy as mine. “I love it.” And then he took me to the bed.”❣️❣️

@Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy

♨️

❤️“And now,” Eric yelled into his microphone, “we’re going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one’s for my girlfriend. We’ve been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We’re gonna be together forever, baby. This one’s called ‘Bang You Like a Drum.”❣️❣️

@Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

♨️

❤️“Kitten…” “Don’t Kitten me.” I scowled, on a roll now. “You left around five or so and didn’t get back till when? Past two in the morning? What were you guys doing? And get that stupid smile off your face. This isn’t funny.” Daemon tried to get rid of the smile but failed. “I love when your claws come out.”❣️❣️

@Jennifer L. Armentrout, Opal

♨️

❤️“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.”❣️❣️

@Germany Kent

♨️

❤️“I’m not leaving, Kitten. You’re going to do this.” My mouth opened as did the door behind us. Stomach dropping, I turned to see Mom standing there in all her fuzzy-bunny pajama glory. Oh, for the love of God.”❣️❣️

@Jennifer L. Armentrout, Obsidian

♨️

❤️“I have a free couple of hours,” I told him, walking toward my car, which was parked on the next block. “There’s a very private, very secluded barn in Lookout Hill Park behind the carousel. I could be there in fifteen minutes.” I heard the smile in his voice. “You want me bad.”❣️❣️

@Becca Fitzpatrick, Finale

♨️

You May Also Like To Read: 90+ Cute & Funny Love Quotes

❤️“Halt regarded him. He loved Horace like a younger brother. Even like a second son, after Will. He admired his skill with a sword and his courage in battle. But sometimes, just sometimes, he felt an overwhelming desire to ram the young warrior’s head against a convenient tree. “You have no sense of drama or symbolism, do you?” he asked. “Huh?” replied Horace, not quite understanding. Halt looked around for a convenient tree. Luckily for Horace, there were none in sight.”❣️❣️

@John Flanagan, Halt’s Peril

♨️

❤️“Fuck it… That’s really the attitude that keeps a family together, it’s not “we love each other”, it’s just “fuck it, man.”❣️❣️

@Louis C.K.

♨️

❤️“It’s funny how, even long after you’ve accepted the grief of losing someone you love and truly have gotten on with your life, every once in a while something comes up that plays “gotcha,” and for a moment or tow the car tissue separates and the wound is raw again.”❣️❣️

@Mary Higgins Clark, The Second Time Around

♨️

You May Also Like To Read: 213 Famous Funny Quotes to Friends for Your Favorite Friends

Leave a Reply