175 Best Monty Python and the Meaning of Life Quotes

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Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life” is a classic comedy film that explores various philosophical and absurd perspectives on the meaning of life. Here are short quotes for you inspired by the film:

“We want A SHRUBBERY!” @Knights of Ni

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“This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain to me again how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.” @King Arthur

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“Tis but a flesh wound!” @Black Knight

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“Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?” @Soldier With a Keen Interest in Birds

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“Don’t like her? What’s wrong with her. She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got huge … tracts of land.” @King of the Swamp Castle

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“It’s not a question of where he grips it! It’s a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut.” @Soldier With a Keen Interest in Birds

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“Bring out your dead!” @Cart Master

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“And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, ‘O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’” @Cleric

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“Help! Help! I’m being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system! Violence inherent in the system!” @Dennis

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“Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.” @King Arthur

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“Every time I try to talk to someone it’s ‘sorry this’ and ‘forgive me that’ and ‘I’m not worthy.’” @God

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“Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.” @Cleric

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“We are the knights who say ‘Ni!’” @Knights of Ni

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“The Black Knights always triumph!” @Black Knight

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“That Rabbit’s Dynamite!!” @King Arthur

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“There’s some lovely filth down here.” @Peasant Woman

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“What are you going to do, bleed on me?” @King Arthur

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“There are those who call me—Tim.” @Tim The Enchanter

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“Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise – not only by surprise but totally unarmed!” @Sir Bedevere

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“She turned me into a newt!” @Angry Villager

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Short Monty Python and the Holy Grail Quotes

“Well, you have to know these things when you’re a king, you know.” @King Arthur

“It’s just a flesh wound.” @The Black Knight

“Stop! That’s enough singing for now.” @Sir Robin

“We shall say ‘Ni!’ again to you if you do not appease us.” @Leader of the Knights Who Say Ni

“I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.” @French Soldier

“Arthur, King of the Britons, your Knights of the Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times.” @God

“Run away!” @King Arthur

“You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.” @King Arthur

“O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.” @King Arthur

“I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot.” @King Arthur

“Look, that rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! It’s a killer!” @Tim

“Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived!” @Tim The Enchanter

“You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest… WITH… A HERRING!” @Knight 1

“Look, it’s my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.” @Sir Galahad

“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!” @French Solider

“You must return here with a shrubbery. Or else you will never pass through these woods—alive.” @Leader of the Knights Who Say Ni

“You’ve got two empty ‘alves of coconuts and you’re bangin’ em together!” @Guard

“Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise—not only by surprise but totally unarmed!” @Sir Bedevere

“It is I, Arthur, Son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England.” @King Arthur

“You’re foolin’ yourself! We’re living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class—.” @Dennis

Deep Lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction!” @French Solider

“The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.” @King Arthur

“Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise – not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!” @Sir Bedevere

“Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how’d you got that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.” @Dennis

“You don’t frighten us, English pig dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called “Arthur King,” you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.” @French Soldier

“Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I’m being repressed!” @Dennis

“Just a flesh wound.” @The Black Knight

“Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting light to our beacon. Which I’ve just remembered, is grail-shaped. It’s not the first time we’ve had this problem.” @Dingo

“Agh! Do your worst!” @Old Crone

“That, my liege, is how we know the earth to be banana-shaped.” @Sir Bedevere

“You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!” @Sir Robin

“Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.” @Minstrel

“Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!” @Dennis

“I thought your son was a lady.” @Sir Lancelot

“This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who.” @King of the Swamp Castle

“I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.” @French Soldier

“If I went ’round sayin’ I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!” @Dennis

“You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest—with—a herring!” @Knight

“Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?” @Sir Robin

“Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.” @Dennis

Just Meaning of Life Quotes Monty Python

“Well, don’t. It’s just like those miserable psalms, always so depressing.” @God

“You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.” @King Arthur

“Dennis! There’s some lovely filth down here!” @Woman

“What do you mean, an African or European swallow?” @King Arthur

“This new learning amazes me Sir Bedevere. Explain to me again how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.” @King Arthur

“You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called ‘Arthur King,’ you and all your silly English Knights.” @French Soldier

“Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave, is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair.” @Tim

“We are the knights who say—Ni!” @Knight

“So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.” @Tim

“It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!” @King Arthur

“It is I, Arthur, Son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England.” @King Arthur

“Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.” @Bridgekeeper

“No chance, English bedwetting types! I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other people’s bottoms!” @French knight

“What manner of man are you, that can summon fire without flint or tinder?” @King Arthur

“But if he was dying, he wouldn’t bother to carve ‘Aargh.’ He’d just say it.” @King Arthur

“On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.” @King Arthur

“First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more no less.” @Monk

“Bones of full 50 men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.” @Tim the Enchanter

“Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou, then proceed to three.” @Monk

“Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no system for a basis of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.” @Dennis

New Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life Quotes

“Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.” @Monk

“Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.” @King of Swamp Castle

“Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.” @Tim the Enchanter

“And the Lord Did Grin.” @Brother Maynard’s Brother

“Don’t like her? What’s wrong with her? She’s beautiful. She’s rich. She’s got huge…tracts of land” @King of Swamp Castle

“Run Away! Run Away!” @King Arthur and His Knights

“We are the knights who say ‘Ni!’” @Knights of Ni

“One Day All This Will Be Yours!” – Swamp King “What, The Curtains?” @Herbert

“I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food through wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.” @French knight to King Arthur

“There Are Those Who Call Me…Tim.” @Tim the Enchanter

“If…she…weighs the same as a duck……she’s made of wood.” @Villager

“She Turned Me Into A Newt!… I Got Better.” @Angry Villager

“’Course it’s a good idea!” @God

“You’re Arm’s Off!” – King Arthur “No, It Isn’t.” @The Black Knight

“We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.” @Knights of Camelot

“Strange Women Lyin’ In Ponds Distributin’ Swords Is No System For A Basis Of Government.” @Dennis

“Well, I didn’t vote for you.” @Peasant Woman

“I Didn’t Know You Were Called Dennis!” @King Arthur

“Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?” @Soldier

“I Think I’ll Go For A Walk.” “You’re Not Fooling Anyone!” @Random Medieval Peasants

Famous Monty Python Holy Grail Quotes

“We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.” @Monty Python

“Are You Suggesting That Coconuts Migrate?” @Castle Guard

“When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them.” @King of the Swamp

“I’m glad to say we’ve got the go-ahead to lend you the money you required…” @Monty Python’s Flying Circus

“It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp.” @King of the Swamp

“Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.” @Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“But the fourth one stayed up. And that’s what you’re going to get, Son, the strongest castle in all of England.” @King of the Swamp

“There are a great many people in the country today, who through no fault of their own, are sane.” @Monty Python’s Flying Circus

“Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise – not only by surprise but totally unarmed!” @Sir Bedevere

“Oh! Now we see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!” @Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!” @Sir Robin

“It’s just gone eight o’clock and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.” @Monty Python’s Flying Circus

“You don’t frighten us with your silly knees-bent running around advancing behavior!” @French Soldier

“She’s a witch! Burn her already!” @Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!” @Dennis

“Tonight, instead of discussing the existence or non-existence of God, they have decided to fight for it.” @Monty Python’s Flying Circus

“You don’t frighten us, English pig dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called “Arthur King,” you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.” @French Soldier

“There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.” @Monty Python’s Flying Circus

“Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!” @Dennis

“My brain hurts!” @Monty Python’s Flying Circus

“This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who.” @King of the Swamp Castle

“He’s not the Messiah—he’s a very naughty boy!” @Monty Python’s Life of Brian

“On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place.” @Arthur

“Bring out your dead!” @Cart Master

“Tis but a flesh wound!” @Black Knight

“I’m not quite dead yet!” @Old Man

“No, now go away before I taunt you a second time.” @French Soldier

Feel free to customize these quotes or let me know if you have any specific themes in mind!

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