135 Best Tequila Quotes and Sayings

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Short Tequila Quotes ideas

“I rarely drink, but when I do, I prefer Tequila.”

@Valentin Chmerkovskiy

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cute tequila quotes images

“If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.”

@Craig Ferguson

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“I’m not really into beer, but I like tequila shots.”

@MNEK

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celebrity tequila quotes images

“I just sit around at home, and I have nothing to do, so I am on the Internet all the time.”

@Tila Tequila

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tequila quotes drinks images

“I love a tequila shot. You should try it with brown sugar instead of the salt, and orange instead of the lemon. Amazing.”

@Michelle Keegan

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tequila quotes drunk images

“I don’t want any dog to be put down.”

@Tila Tequila

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tequila quotes english images

“We own a proprietary recipe for Casamigos Tequila that can’t be duplicated.”

@Rande Gerber

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tequila quotes emotional images

“Maybe she was drunk – the woman never could drink. One little sniff of tequila and she was off into some blonde la-la land.”

@P. C. Cast

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tequila quotes funny images

“Pour two parts mix and you throw in one part tequila, some Don Julio, which is my favorite, shake it up a couple times. There’s a perfect margarita.”

@Rande Gerber

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tequila quotes for instagram images

“We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.”

@Hunter S. Thompson

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famous tequila quotes images

“I enjoy tequila, which has a strange effect on people and makes parties more fun than warm white wine.”

@Simon Sebag Montefiore

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funny tequila quotes sayings images

““Hey, ah, does anyone want a cookie or something? Oh yeah. A cookie. That would make everything better. Dunked in a shot of tequila , maybe? Or better yet, just the bottle? Yeah, that ought to do it.”

@Kim Harrison

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“I love dry British humor. I love to sketch in my off time. I love tequila.”

@Maren Morris

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“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”

@George Carlin

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good tequila quotes images

“Right before I go out, we usually put on some Lauryn Hill or Fugees, and I’ll do a shot of tequila just to calm my nerves.”

@Maren Morris

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“Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila.”

@Mark Z. Danielewski

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mexican tequila quotes images

“I like to go dancing, have a few beers. I like being alone, too. I have days where it’s ‘God, get me a shot of tequila.'”

@Justine Bateman

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more tequila quotes images

“If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.”

@Craig Ferguson

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“I have been instrumental in banning bottled water on the set. It hasn’t gone that well with the crew… so I replaced it with tequila.”

@Hugh Laurie

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“Drinking tequila is more about the journey than the destination”

@Rainbow Rowell

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Tequila Quotes for Instagram

“I saw Tequila Sunrise as a romantic picture with complex, bigger than life characters.”

@Conrad Hall

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“Dennis Hutch had stepped up into the top seat when its founder had died of a lethal overdose of brick wall, taken while under the influence of a Ferrari and a bottle of tequila.”

@Douglas Adams

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“But my humble opinion is, I’m not quite sure where I stand on the legalization of drugs – though, if tequila is legal, pot should probably be legal.”

@Ted Demme

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“I’m the Cool One,” she told herself. “Somebody give me some tequila because I’ll totally drink it. And there’s no way you’re going to find me later having a panic attack in your parents’ bathroom. Who wants to French-kiss?”

@Rainbow Rowell

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“My husband and I went to Bald Head Island for our four-year anniversary. We spent the night in bed with champagne, tequila, and Krispy Kreme doughnuts and watched a boxing match on Showtime.”

@Teri Polo

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“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.”

@Mitch Ratcliffe

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“Little bitty bags are completely impractical – I like big slouchy bags because they have to be comfortable for my lovely wee Chihuahua Tequila, who comes everywhere with me. I’m devoted to him, now my kids have long since flown the nest.”

@Britt Ekland

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“After you, it’s all cheap tequila.”

@Jacqueline Carey

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“I wanted to do my part to help preserve that golden age of travel… I step aboard The Patron Tequila Express railcar, and I go back in time to the days when a long journey was something fun and very special.”

@John Paul DeJoria

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“I knew I hated straight shots of anything except tequila. I was definitely a tequila girl.”

@Wendy Higgins

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“I drink Jack Daniel’s. I drink tequila. But you do it in moderation.”

@Michael Anthony

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“It wasn’t the tequila and oxy. You really are that fucking gorgeous.”

@Adrian Phoenix

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“A lot of people are crazy, cruel, and negative. They got a little too much time on their hands to discuss everybody else. I have a limited amount of energy to blow in a day. I’d rather read something that I like or watch a program I enjoy or ride my damn motorcycle or throw back a couple of shots of tequila with my friends.”

@Queen Latifah

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“He didn’t save us ; haven’t you been listening?” Elizabeth held an icepack to her chin where she’d been hit by an meaty elbow . “Fiona stabbed one of them with a Susan Bates needle, Marie was wielding a tequila bottle, Sandra pistol-whipped the other, and I shot the third.” “Where were Janie and Kat?” Ashley looked from me to Kat. “Hiding behind the couch like sane people!” Kat said before anyone else could speak.”

@Penny Reid

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“I’ve been drinking tequila for a long time now, and it’s never been about drinking to get drunk. I don’t do that. I never drink tequila during the day, and I don’t drive at night.”

@Sammy Hagar

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“Tequila often gave people the desire to tackle the impossible. It did not, however, make impossible possible”

@Darynda Jones

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“There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.”

@Ron White

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“We’re your friends. Your shit became our shit when you drank my tequila and stripped down to your bra. Boss, Shocking Heaven”

@D.H. Sidebottom

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“Tequila. Straight. There’s a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won’t go down. Then you know you’ve reached your limit.”

@Lee Marvin

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“You’re lucky this is a big night for you, Bliss. Normally, nobody gets between me and my tequila.”

@Cora Carmack

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Tequila Quotes Funny

“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”

@George Carlin

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“You smell like tequila and sexual repression, Caroline.”

@Alice Clayton

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Famous Tequila Captions for Instagram

  • Tequila! It helps people lower their standards.
  • Happy tequila day—every day.
  • Your spirit animal is a tequila.
  • You don’t need training to drink tequila the crafty way.
  • Straight down tequila, please.
  • Wanna be smart in no time? Drink tequila. Such intelligence is temporary though.
  • Tequila is the juice of the gods.
  • Too much tequila can leave you wondering where your clothes are.
  • Tequila is my happy hour.
  • A great way to start a New Year is to have a shot of tequila.
  • You know, I have mixed drinks with my feelings.
  • After several shots of tequila, politics is thrown out the window.
  • You know what’s cool about tequila? It’s a versatile drink.
  • No one said too much tequila.
  • Summer is the tequila season.

“Very few people have that effect. Very few people are tequila and champagne at the same time.”

@Fredrik Backman

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“Tack didn’t grin. He tugged on my arm and dragged me down the hall to his bedroom. Dinner was chips and dip, beer and tequila, and good company. Dessert was Cool Whip and Tack. In other words, dessert was the bomb!”

@Kristen Ashley

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“Never date a man who can’t out-drink you in tequila.”

@Gina L. Maxwell

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“Um, tequila please?” I asked questioningly, enunciating each word as best as my drunken mouth would allow. So really, it came out as “Uff, shakira pea?”

@Tara Sivec

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“The waitress returns, cutting into possibly the most bizarre way a pregnancy can be announced. At a Mexican restaurant. With a tequila shot standoff. In French”

@Krista Ritchie

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“If you want to keep your dignity intact, stay away from tequila.”

@Alida Nugent

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“His forehead tipped forward, and before I could react, before he said another word to me, he leaned forward, forward, forward, and pressed his mouth just to the side of my mouth. A peck. A shot better than tequila made up of friendship and affection and organic sugar.”

@Mariana Zapata

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“Tequila doesn’t ask you to talk about your problems. Tequila and I have always gotten along.”

@Kimberly Lauren

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“They were back. The demons in all their glory. And they had a plan. I made plans sometimes, too, but they rarely involved world domination. Hot dogs on a grill, maybe. Tequila.”

@Darynda Jones

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“O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate”

@Tom Robbins

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“How’d you get through yesterday, though?” “Running away, you, sarcasm, violence, and last but not least, tequila.”

@Kylie Scott

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“Blood is pounding in my ears. Lingering smoke and tequila fill my nostrils as adrenaline courses through my veins. My lips curl into a smile. The only thing that would make this night more perfect is if I had killed some zombies.”

@Annie Walls

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“You should never play safe with your heart. It doesn’t get to grow if you don’t take it out. You break it. You give it away. And sometimes, you kind of hope someone gives it back to you—maybe wrapped up and taped but better because they held it for a little while.”

@Rhys Ford

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“Maybe she was drunk – the woman never could drink. One little sniff of tequila and she was off into some blonde la-la land.”

@P.C. Cast

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“That’s the last time I put you in charge of the tequila when we’re making margaritas”

@JoAnne Kenrick

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“I grabbed my shot of tequila. Then I tossed it back. When I put my empty down to the bar and after I took in a deep breath, I informed her, “I like you. I need a new best friend. I’ve added you to the top of a list that has one name. Yours.”

@Kristen Ashley

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“At least you don’t need a prescription for tequila.”

@Rachel Vincent

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“When life gives you lemons, take out the salt and the shot-glasses and fill them up with tequila. Fight for what you really want and never, ever settle for anything less. Don’t exist. Live.”

@Teodora Kostova

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Tequila Quotes Goodreads

“I’m gonna need a strap-on, a dildo, some lube, condoms, and more of that tequila.”

@Kendall Grey

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“I had no intention of drinking tequila with Quinn. Quinn plus tequila equaled Quinquelia and that sounded like something that happens in Mexican jails.”

@Penny Reid

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“I look forward to sleeping each night. The air is cool and it often starts to rain around 2:00 A.M., breaking the heat and singing me to sleep. And I drink my tequila as if I’d be letting you down if I didn’t.”

@Bill Callahan

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“Sheets, towels, and blankets surrounded Travis. He had fashioned a soft pallet to sleep on while I expelled the fifteen shots of tequila I’d consumed the night before. Travis had held my hair out of the toilet, and sat with me all night.”

@Jamie McGuire

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“All the tequila in the world couldn’t get her out of his mind and he knew it. She was in his head and in his heart to stay.”

@M. Leighton

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“Where is my human pillow? Where are my clothes? Why am I alone in this bed? Do I smell coffee? Do I have a headache because I drank too much tequila or because someone hit me over the head while I was sleeping when I got frisky?”

@Jessica Park

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“I’m related to one. Can you believe that? It was bad enough thinking I was paranoid, going crazy, or maybe just cursed, but to find out Gods are real and that I’m related to one… life sucks lemons and I’ve run out of tequila and salt.”

@Jane Cousins

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“We each cope differently with the specter of our deaths. Some people deny it. Some pray. Some numb themselves with tequila. I was tempted to do a little of each of those things. But I think we are supposed to try to face it straightforwardly, armed with nothing but courage.”

@Lance Armstrong

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“Ricky was a young boy, he had a heart of stone./Tequila in his heartbeat, his veins burned gasoline./18 and life you got it.”

@Skid Row

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“You smell salty,” he says. “Like the ocean.” He leans closer to me and licks up the side of my face. “You taste salty too. Maybe I should grab a bottle of tequila and we should have some fun.” He moves his eyebrows up and down. “What do you say? We’ll do some shots and I’ll lick you all over.”

@Jillian Dodd

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Tequila Quotes Pinterest

“No, tequila makes me throw up. Vodka makes my clothes fall off.” I grin and sip my water. “You might want to take notes.”

@Kristen Proby

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“Deal with your wins and losses alike. With tequila, lemon, and a pinch of salt.”

@Saleem Sharma

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“Tequila makes me dream up things like dance battles.”

@Rachel Hollis

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“When life gives you lemons, grab the tequila”

@Giana Darling

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“Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe. May these shots reveal the Hoe.” Taron immediately clanks the glasses and tips the tequila into his mouth.”

@Hilary Storm

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“Must. Be. Stronger. Than. Tequila. Oh, honey, how many times have those words been said?”

@Carrie Ann Ryan

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“The room continued to spin though she was standing still, but her ears were hot. She felt like she’d just slammed three doubles of tequila and needed a fistfight chaser.”

@Michael R. Underwood

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“Tequila often gave people the desire to tackle the impossible. It did not, however, make the impossible possible.”

@Darynda Jones

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“we could slam tequila shots over my current problem until we came up with a solution … or passed out trying.”

@Ann Charles

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“Chico was a small-time hustler and big-time loser who liked to bet the ponies and hit women. He was more successful at the latter.”

@J.A. Konrath

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“So nothing! Look, I get that coming here meant you could finally do things on your own, but you are just supposed to just take sips of freedom Norah – don’t just slam it down your throat like a tequila shot!”

@Angela Richardson

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“We should go swimming,” Anna says, out of the blue. (…) Danny looks at her like she just suggested knocking over the closest liquor store. Which wouldn’t be such a bad idea, on second thought, considering how fast Laney, Seth, and Anna are working through the tequila bottle. “Uh sure, if catching pneumonia’s your idea of a fun time. I don’t want to freeze my balls off. I’m rather attached to them. Literally and figuratively.”

@Hannah Harrington

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“I have found that the tools for my trade- writing, are very basic: paper, a pen, time, food and perhaps a little tequila…”

@José N. Harris

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“Have you been drinking, Ms. Brycin?” “Does a bottle of tequila laced with heroin count? I also had some battery fluid… was that not a good thing?”

@Stacey Marie Brown

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“These girls probably use double negatives and watch “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” with their babies instead of reading Eric Carle.”

@Natalie Taylor

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“It was the tequila that did it. Tequila is spiteful, two-faced, sweet as pie when you’re saying hi, paying your monies, and throwing ‘em back, but nasty in a metal fangs kind of way when last night’s fun-lovin’ fast-forwards into next day’s buggering regret. I tell you, Tequila is unwise.”

@Simon Pont

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Thank you for reading all about tequila quotes. Hope you like it!

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